Enter slowly, find me as well.

I invented a word tonight

2009-02-28T05:29:12Z

"Poopshit." Use it in place of "bullshit" and you'll be well on your way to sounding like a totally hip and well-adjusted person. Think about it.

This is what I come up with instead of paying attention in Complex Analysis

2009-02-27T16:18:28Z

Jack knows that he's a monster. He could have said a lot of things differently last night. Amy meant no harm, yet he used everything he knew against her. With the amount of training he'd had earlier in his childhood, all of this schoolboy-affectionate taunting came out as far too incisive. Now he was supposed to be thinking about his class -- Art History? He couldn't remember why he was taking this class -- when he could easily just sit and regret his callous words. The professor calls on someone, and it's not Jack. Though he doesn't show it, Jack is relieved. Then the student with everyone's attention opens his coat to the professor. Jack's professor is screaming something now. A loud pop sounds from the student and the professor drops into a lifeless heap on the floor. Jack's brain kicks into hyperspeed now. His chances are awful, really fucking bad if he goes for a frontal assault. Jack has no gun today. Shit. He never brings one to campus exactly so people won't think he's like this guy. School shootings are so cliché anyway. Jack leaves his bag and runs for the door. The gunman doesn't have time to notice the one boy escaping among the groups of other people. While everyone else has their survival instinct in mind, Jack is determined to get this fucker.

Now Jack stands still and statuesque by the exit, like a temple guardian ready to wake from his centuries-long slumber to halt any intruders. Only his temple is the exit to an auditorium-style classroom and the intruder is this crazy asshole who just opened fire on an Art History class. To aid in his efforts, Jack has already found something heavy, but not blunt. Disabling this guy by hand wouldn't be challenging for Jack, but the weapon makes the whole process a lot smoother. He's gonna brain this gunman before he even has a chance to make national news. Then the footsteps get closer. Jack's training was valuable; he'd picked the right exit. With no piquing of intensity, no frightened cry, no grunt of strain, Jack swings his arm around in a half-circle, snapping his wrist at the last second. The trophy makes a victorious cracking sound when its corner punches through the shooter's forehead. Jack's done his job now, but he wants more. He's thinking about Amy again.

Typical

2009-02-20T03:18:20Z

A drunk gentleman just ran down the hallway knocking on doors and singing Santeria as loud as he possibly could.

Speaking of hobbies

2009-02-04T00:45:42Z

I'm glad I got my guitar out for a bit today. I didn't even bother tuning it - mostly because it sounded just fine, but also because I just wanted to practice strumming and fingering which doesn't require perfect pitch. It felt surprisingly natural, and I was able to tackle some new stuff head on. Oh boy.

Ack, I also keep forgetting that I changed my lip ring from a regular-sized one to my smaller one. Considering I play with it so much, it's no wonder my tongue misses, expecting the top of the ring to be much higher. Then, of course, when I switch back to a bigger ring it will feel huge in my mouth. The wonders of psychology.

I've been tricking myself into working on my book lately. I find thoughts of homework and news and socializing too distracting, though, so I can only squeeze out a few sentences before my work ethic is evaporated. Shoot.

I'm awfully tired today, but at least I got my homework done.

Hooray for related thoughts spewed out in short, disjointed paragraphs. Yawn.

Turn around

2009-02-02T06:03:44Z

It was determined earlier by a passage I wrote about the color spectrum of underwear earlier that I am indeed still capable of producing beautiful, often comical, thoughts. That's good to know. Thanks, Hayley, for pointing that out to me.

In other news, I have my first test of the semester tomorrow, and it took me all of twenty minutes to study for it. Still, I wonder if I will learn to hate Complex Analysis (Get it? "Learn" 'cause it's a class, but "hate" because who teaches that?). Math is easy, but it is soooooo dry sometimes (read: seriously, all the time). I don't want to get up at 8. Lame.

Also, the fire alarm control panel for the building is on our floor, so we can hear it beeping from our room. Apparently the people in 311 are in imminent danger of setting off the building's alarms. Oh joy. Let's hope they fix that shit pronto.

I am in a musical rut, both in terms of what I listen to for pleasure and what I play. Although I will admit that it's nice to know some songs intimately after playing them countless times. It makes it really easy to tune your guitar by ear when you can tell that a note or two is off. I know this because when I went home and played my acoustic, I thought, "Aw damn, I forgot to bring a tuner with me." Minor setback, it turns out! Woo.

Time for bed soon. I'ma go see what Tina's doing.

Degradation

2009-01-30T06:30:05Z

I was realizing, as I sifted through some of my older entries, that I've lost a lot of the charm and ability I had when it comes to writing. Honestly, I think it's because I sleep more now and am more cogent when telling myself how to process my emotions. That is a good thing, yet I miss some of my more flippant days. Somewhere in the ebb and flow of things, chips of myself have flaked off to reveal me at my most basic and unflattering. Still, I like to think I can wrangle a few words together when the mood arises. I should stop playing video games and get back to my writing. Think of all the time I'm wasting.

Time for bed. I miss my dearest friends.

thepolytheist @ 2009-01-23T00:43:00

2009-01-23T05:44:16Z

Crap. I guess I'm down to one now. UGH.

Update on my laziness

2009-01-20T05:51:50Z

I am terribly far behind schedule. It is just punishment that I should have to keep changing the dates. I am glad that the dates exist to show me how much time I'm wasting.

Thanks go to Alivia for lovingly pestering me.

Notes 1 (already written)
Prologue - Death and Life (already written - 1/2/09)

Act One:
Chapter 1 - Eastern Star - (already written - 1/12/09)
Chapter 2 - Love at First Sight - (already written - 1/20/09)
Chapter 3 - Onimor and the Giant - (already written - 1/7/09)

Notes 2 (already written)

Act Two:

Chapter 4 - The First Is Always the Sweetest - due 1/21/09
Chapter 5 - Like Father, Like Son - due 1/22/09
Chapter 6 - How Misery Became Extinct - due 1/23/09
Chapter 7 - Party Crashers - due 1/24/09
Chapter 8 - On Your Knees - due 1/25/09

Notes 3 (already written)

Act Three:

Chapter 9 - Third Day - due 1/26/09
Chapter 10 - Ancient Father - due 1/27/09
Chapter 11 - Betrayal - due 1/28/09
Notes 4 (already written)
Chapter 12 - Oedipus Deus - due 1/29/09
Notes 5 (already written)

Epilogue - Perchance to Dream - (already written - 1/3/09)

Again, I will likely have none of these chapters done on time, and I especially would like to take a short break now that Act One is complete. Hopefully I can stay motivated as I venture further out into unexplored territory. These are untested waters. Let me know if you'd like to read what I have so far (I'll send it to you in one form or another).

Yay!

2009-01-12T17:59:57Z

I finished Chapter One! I'm still a few days behind, but I might actually have Act One completed soon. Fantastic.

Class time now. Lame.

peace through love

2009-01-09T01:32:01Z

or

The second one could actually be shrunk down and still have the words legible, but I like the text better on the first one. Hrmm.

EDIT: ...or?

I'm posting this here so I can be under more pressure

2009-01-08T04:23:45Z

Really now. Go ahead and pressure me if I get behind any more. It's okay if I go out of order, but I need to get more done. (If you're not catching on, I'm trying to write a chapter per day, but I've already missed three days. Meh. At least I was successful today!)

Notes 1 (already written)
Prologue - Death and Life (already written - 1/2/09)

Act One:
Chapter 1 - Eastern Star - due 1/8/09
Chapter 2 - Love at First Sight - due 1/9/09
Chapter 3 - Onimor and the Giant - (already written- 1/7/09)

Notes 2 (already written)

Act Two:

Chapter 4 - The First Is Always the Sweetest - due 1/10/09
Chapter 5 - Like Father, Like Son - due 1/11/09
Chapter 6 - How Misery Became Extinct - due 1/12/09
Chapter 7 - Party Crashers - due 1/13/09
Chapter 8 - On Your Knees - due 1/14/09

Notes 3 (already written)

Act Three:

Chapter 9 - Third Day - due 1/15/09
Chapter 10 - Ancient Father - due 1/16/09
Chapter 11 - Betrayal - due 1/17/09
Notes 4 (already written)
Chapter 12 - Oedipus Deus - due 1/18/09
Notes 5 (already written)

Epilogue - Perchance to Dream - (already written - 1/3/09)

2009: drops like an atomic bomb

2009-01-01T22:30:14Z

I can hardly believe last night was real.

I love gossip

2008-12-28T02:27:22Z

So as it turns out, I'm a pretty amazing person with a really lackluster life. My life is lacking luster. Love my friends, though.

Should be working on homework

2008-12-11T23:37:48Z

I have things due very soon. I have 8 pages worth of things that should be written by the end of tonight, and as of yet I only have half of a page done (by half a page, I mean the sentence fragment "In this article,"). I also have a statistics project due tomorrow that I am about halfway done with, but I can't remember how to do the last of half of it so I need to wait for Merckens to get back from wherever. Rawr.

Socially, times have been interesting lately. Nothing much has really happened, but there's been lots of intense talkings or generally interesting conversations. Hayley and I have been telling things. Weird. Good, though.

I get to go home tomorrow for a family Christmas party on Saturday before coming back for my one and only final on Monday, then I am home for vacation. There's a lot of guitar and socializing in my future, I hope.

I guess I should starting heading on the path that leads to me having most of this writing done. Ciao.

Oh shoot

2008-12-08T05:06:49Z

It looks like I really really love my friends. Shucks. Oh well. I'll do better next time.

Supersigh

2008-12-07T04:36:31Z

I've been in this situation before, so I know that my depression is temporary. It hurts, though. What the hell am I supposed to do come vacation time? I'm going to have to do something drastic, it seems. I hate that. Also, why couldn't it friggin' wait until finals were over? FUCK.

Sometimes...

2008-12-01T06:06:51Z

Sometimes I am convinced that the physical portion of my self died shortly after I was born. In another probabilistic universe, I am an exuberant and social fellow, and I rarely ponder the weight of my shortcomings. The life I am experiencing now could only be the product of an incorporeal mind with a diminutive imagination.

Then I realize that sometimes the weight I feel is perhaps the usage of pretentious language. I rock.

My apologies if I seemed detached today

2008-11-29T03:22:41Z

Rest in peace, Ella. You were mean, but I loved you.

thepolytheist @ 2008-11-26T20:57:00

2008-11-27T01:59:30Z

Some people get butterflies when they are stimulated by the sight of someone they admire. You dig down through my body and quicken the heartbeat of my soul.

Movie endings

2008-11-15T07:18:00Z

Tonight's movie: the conflict is that Bri and I don't really like anyone else, and it's stressing us out. It came to a bit of a head tonight because Bri was slightly drunk, so she was crying and talking about how annoyed she was with people. Then, of course, said people returned home, providing us with a good bit of awkwardness and Bri becoming more upset. I was also pretty annoyed, but it's not their fault that they didn't know what they were walking into. So, you start to think that things are going to become interesting, because Bri and Tina are talking behind closed door about who knows what. Then, Bri comes out crying, and everyone just kinda stands around awkwardly while she's in the bathroom, except me because I'm sitting and comfortable and understand what's going on unlike everyone else. Finally, Bri was able to go to sleep and get some rest and hopefully recover from a rather atrocious week (I am leaving out details as to why she was upset. Trust me: she is justified.) . So I get to talking online, but I feel limited by the medium. Next thing I know, I'm in the hallway talking to Hayley on the phone. I'm a pacer when I talk on the phone, so I went down the hall a bit, my first thought being "Hmm, I hope I don't run into Jayme in the hallway somewhere coming back." Keep in mind that it is well past midnight at this point, so Jayme has been out for a really loooong time. I turn the corner to see the nearest entrance to our building. In walks Jayme, but since I'm on the phone, I just mutter a soft "Hey" before trying to continue on with the conversation. That was the "Oh shit" moment. That was the moment I realized that Jayme was stumbling and bouncing off the wall and soaked in cold rain and muttering himself. "I need help. I need help," he says quietly. Oh shit. I make sure he's heading towards the apartment. Then, in a spark of verbal genius, I walk in, face all serious, and say, "Tina, we have a drunk Jayme." "What?" Then he comes through the doorway, slamming against the wall. I think he may have knocked down some papers we had posted on the wall. He then makes his way into the bathroom and tries to drink out of the sink. Tim immediately went into crisis mode and handled it, I guess. Jayme was almost drowning himself with the faucet. Tina ended up telling me I could go back to my phone conversation, and I did, but then public safety was called. We talked to them for a while. The people who came were really nice, actually. I'm not sure why I expected them to be really judgmental. Anyhow, after they left, everything settled down for the most part. This is the part in the movie when the main character resumes his narration and talks about how one cause brought everyone together, and maybe he shouldn't think about the many small things that really annoy him. I, on the other hand, do not like typical endings. Yes, I told Tina and Tim that I don't like them very much. It was pretty nice.

Damn

2008-11-12T18:32:15Z

I kinda hate everyone right now. I'm actually feeling great, though. I think hating everyone feels pretty good. Some people are still cool, so don't worry. But the people I don't like...grr, I'm SO not liking them right now. omg.

Doors.

2008-11-10T06:07:19Z

The door is heavy at first, but at last it gives way, gravity doing its fair share to ease the metal door downward. A wall of air blasts forth from the doorway, heating my face. It relaxes and excites me. A light comes on, allowing me to see inside in the dim midday light. It would be hard to make out anything of significance even in full light. I spot a thin metal rod on the counter next to me and brandish it in my right hand like a long syringe that needs to be stabbed through someone's sternum into their heart. My motives are far less gruesome. I pull my pet out through the door. It is sleeping and silent, large and brown, but I don't know if it's ready. Stab. Nothing. How fortuitous! My cake is done!

---

As I twist the handle, all sound from behind the door is hushed. I gently push the door open, letting it swing freely. The light is shocking and bright. A chorus of voices sounds out, familiar and warm. Their excitement is not masked. It's a curious situation, though, and perhaps a bit of a depressing one. The voices have come from my friends and colleagues, but they act erroneously. While it is me they are addressing, it is, in fact, not my birthday. Wow, though; that cake certainly looks good.

---

I slowly come to realize what has happened. It seems as though my timing in walking past her door was terribly unlucky. As she stormed out, the door she wildly flung open was propelled into my nose, definitely breaking it. There's no question that it's broken, and my vision is blurry with involuntary tears. I cup my hands over my face, trying to somehow trap the pain in my nose. She doesn't even notice that she's brutalized my face in her blind fury. Two coworkers have come over to share some concerned words, but it's hard to pay attention to them while I'm plotting revenge for my poor nose.

---

My report is almost finished! I just need to wrap up the conclusion, but alas, Patty from HR has just thrown my door open. There's a commotion outside of the door, but Patty closes it before I can glean enough information to know what's going on. Apparently I've made some sort of mistake. You would think that someone in HR could figure out a birthday for themselves. I just guessed. Patty is a very red woman right now. I guess I'll just finish my report while she's yelling at me. "Are you even listening?!" I look up from the report. It's a report on workroom efficiency based on the number of doorways. I guess it will have to wait...

thepolytheist @ 2008-11-08T13:33:00

2008-11-08T18:36:01Z

So I gave myself my first third-degree burn a few minutes ago. I picked up something that was way too hot, and it subsequently charred and deadened the end of my index finger and thumb. It is really weird to see your own skin all yellow and cooked. I'm actually quite alright, though. I already cut off the offending area. Before that, though, I took pictures. I'll post them sometime.

Dreeeeam

2008-11-02T19:15:00Z

Out of the several sections in my dream last night (at least: one sexy, one predictive, one where I couldn't get this chicken sandwich that I really wanted), the one that I found the most interesting was the predictive one, partially because it was quite obviously wrong, but also because I actually really liked it. I was at a movie theater with Lee watching some movie. I wasn't sure what it was because this part of the dream started mid-movie, but I knew there was something familiar about it. Just so I don't have to be vague: it was the third of the new Batman movies. A new Joker had risen up, inspired by the old one (rotting in jail, supposedly), but he had a lot in common with Bruce Wayne as far as resources and physical strength go. So in that sense, Batman was working against a mostly familiar enemy, but the Joker also had some sort of sidekick. I can't remember if it was ever clear who this person was. The part that made the movie interesting to me was that there was a really scary element to it: part action/film noir, part horror. All the time Batman was occupied with the New Joker, there was this mysterious presence in Gotham causing people to disappear, but no one really knew who or what it was. Robin was actually, subtly, introduced in this film, but never as Batman's sidekick. He was this kind of boisterous - but intelligent - college student. In the end, both Batman and Robin were taken by these weird villains, completely breaking away from realism and jumping into science fiction. The weird villains? Two "blob" men, but they were not just unintelligent, disgusting sack creature. They seemed to be two geniuses who had messed up an experiment that kindly rewarded them by turning them into Jell-O. I kid. Really, though, when they unveiled right at the end of the film that the two blob guys were sneaking up on Batman and Robin simultaneously, it was pretty scary. They didn't show either one of them attacking, but they did show the enveloped Batman being carried away from his fight with the New Joker. Then the title popped up like it did at the end of The Dark Knight, but it was "The Caped Crusader". I turned to Lee and said, "Wait, that was the new Batman movie? I didn't even realize it was out yet!" Apparently all the critics were talking about it as a fitting sequel to TDK. There were other parts of the movie that I saw, but I honestly can't remember them that well. I know specifically there was something about Batman climbing up a ladder inside a building. It was a particularly long ladder, and it was heavily guarded or something because there was something really important in the room at the top of the ladder. I remember it making me feel sort of claustrophobic, though I can't remember what it was that was in the room at the top. There were a few people there.

Oh well. I'm sure the actual sequel will be a lot better.

Whooooooa

2008-11-01T02:14:08Z

Oh.
My.
Word.

So uh, Newman and Bri got ENGAGED tonight.

To reiterate: Newman is ENGAGED...TO BRI.

HOLY CRAP.

Just kidding.